Boulder Greens

Boulder Greens

1135 Broadway Street, B

Boulder.

Andrew gives Boulder Greens 4 chews out of 5.

After displaying very healthy choices on a two section menu of salads and wraps, and also featuring a very reasonable custom order option, Boulder Greens is finally confirmed as not being a Medical Marijuana Dispensary.

Boulder Greens is a salad and wrap joint located underneath an art supply store on the Hill. After I ordered a custom wrap (obviously I got a custom one because I think my creations are good, whether or not it is true), I sat outside on the patio, which has a great view of the cars rushing down Broadway. It also has a great view of curious students who walk by on the sidewalk with a facial expression that makes it obvious they are thinking, "What is Boulder Greens? Why is it hanging out in the shadows under an art supply store? Do they serve salad?…or…what? Marijuana?" Their faces have such strong expressions that their pores actually dilate and shout that quotation. Anyway, I wanted to be the first person to go out of their way and formally announce that no, Boulder Greens is not what you think it is. It is just a salad place. Well, and wraps.

Anyway, back to my brilliant custom wrap. The checklist that I had to fill out (myself…ugh) was slightly confusing. It said I could check in 8 items to build my own unique wrap. I did exactly that. When I gave the cash register lady my custom wrap card with all my items checked off, she kind of suggested that the tortilla and lettuce choices didn't count as part of the 8. Did I get gypped? (Sorry to my massive gypsy following on this blog for using such a derogatory term.) Furthermore, since I thought tortilla and lettuce both counted as a selection, and since I wanted to get as many vegetables on my wrap as possible, I neglected to pick a salad dressing. I felt that given 8 options, I could exclude salad dressing and get away with a pretty good wrap; however, if I knew I could have picked (technically) 10 boxes, including a tortilla and lettuce, I might have even picked TWO dressings. Who knows!? Knowing that, the lady asked if I wanted dressing. I told her no, trying to make it seem like I knew that I had already built the best wrap ever, even though inside I really wanted some balsamic vinaigrette tossed into it. I ended up just using the (FREE!) bottle of Tapatío hot sauce that was sitting on the table on the patio to lather my wrap. It just felt right at the time.

So there are basically four things you need to know about Boulder Greens. (1) If you ever go there and wonder where all the people walking up the adjacent stairs are going, don't worry…they are just super indie and buying art supplies. (2) If you order custom, make sure you are aware of all the rules first so you can optimize your experience. (3) This is in fact a salad place, granted they can also wrap their salads in a tortilla, hence the wrap selection. (4) I am very happy to say that at this fine establishment there were absolutely no assholes.